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29th-Nov-2008 01:29 pm - lately....
Animated Amanda
I havent posted lately because I have a bad habit of running away from things. And this journal reminds me of someone and like it hurts. So yeah...>>
It was Rocky and my six month anniversary the other day and i just got really sad. I really really miss him and I have been really faithful. A lot of boys and customers are hitting on me lately and I just smile and decline their offers. Still it is really hard to be on one's own when people constantly tell you that your relationship will not work out because of the "Distance". God I hate how cruel people can be.

Speaking of which, and i dont know how this relates, My brother and Holly are getting married in April. They are getting married in an old movie theater, which i think is perfect for eric cause he is a freak like that. XD I hope they will be okay in life. Eric was really the only person I really looked up to when I was little, so this has really been hard for me to accept. But i am glad he found someone like Holly to be with. They really seem to make each other happy...

Ugh, I keep crying though. I think it is because of me being so tired from work and school. I literally have no days off. It is work and school work and school. I got a raise after two years. Better make my check look better or i am going to be so mad. D=<

I just wish I could see Rocky. I will be twenty in sixteen days and all I want for my birthday is just to see him...But I cant have that so i want video games...XDDDDD

So guys, if I seem grumpy lately, just leave me be. I am tired and all that jazz...also i miss him..but that is old news...@_@

31st-Aug-2008 11:45 am - SICK!!!11
Animated Amanda
I have been sick for the past week or so. I am seriously not doing good. But don't worry!!!! I will be fine...but I do have a busy week ahead of me...I don't know how I will get through it. I was going to bake a cake for Jason but he seems to not want anything to do with me...

I have been getting a steady stream of letters from rocky. They mainly are telling me that he really misses me and that he needs me to be strong and keep sending him support. But the thing is i can't because i do not have his address yet. I really hope we work out in the end...I mean i will still have some doubt cause i really care for him. And in the end most of the things i really truly love leave me in the end...

bah...i feel so sick...I dont mean to be emo...=o

just to be nice though, I am ending this entry on a lovely picture...

of his royal highness CJ the First!

21st-Aug-2008 08:48 am - Ain't No Sunshine When He's Gone...
Animated Amanda
My bedroom looks like a shrine to Rocky. It even smells like him,
which is a mixture of ass, sweat, and feet. But it is a familiar
disgustingly nostalgic smell which i love so much. I went and saw
him yesterday as he was sworn in. I almost busted into tears as I
said my last goodbyes to him. He kept whispering that he wasn't
leaving me but instead was going to work and was coming home soon.
I really want to be supportive of him, but it is so hard to let go
of something you love so much. Mom and dad have been supportive of
my depression lately. Dad brought me home a cookie and asked me why
I was crying. When I told him he kinda gave off the vibe he thought
it was stupid, but I guess that is the most I will get off dad. Mom
has been really supportive with telling me that it will get easier
and that Rocky is doing this for both of us. Basically she has accepted
the fact that I want to marry Rocky. Dad is still a little skeptical
on that topic. The hardest part about yesterday was when we were walking
to the bus, I started to cry a little so i squeezed his hand hard and
he squeezed back. I was just so torn up about him going. I still am
torn up about it. I am just, I will need to depend on my friends now
to help me through this. That means i need to hang out with you losers
more now...so invite me places...or else.

I miss him...but i am also proud of him...
28th-Jun-2008 07:28 pm - bwah...
Animated Amanda
I dont know what is wrong with me lately. I just feel so depressed. Maybe I just need to take a vacation. When will i just be happy? I dont know. I just. UGHHHH! STOP BEING EMO!

I just need to get away from ohio for a bit. Any takers?

just to be on a lighter note...I recently had to wash my rabbit and like i went to scrub the crap off of him and like his wenier came out. So dad and mom have been joking around with me about rabbit weinies.....

14th-Apr-2008 10:43 pm - dying from the inside...
Animated Amanda
So I have come to the conclusion that I do not take help easily. I am basically on the verge of passing out from sickness but I hate having Mom and Dad take care of me. I just get so weak when I get sick. I think it is the pride that resides in my small mind that refuses me to take charity or presents very well. On my birthday I feel uneasy cause of all the presents I get. Bah...I just sometimes want to disappear into a little place no one will ever find. Like i sometimes feel like my family would be happier if i wasn't around. I really wish I hadn't of spent all my money so I could be out on my own where no one would be bothered by me and my stupid body. I just...get really emo when I am sick cause I can't do anything.
7th-Apr-2008 10:41 pm - Good movie...
Animated Amanda
I am watching What's Eating Gilbert Grape. I love this movie. It is the movie that got me into johnny Depp. In the movie he has red hair. And you guys know how crazy I am about red hair! This movie makes me a little sad...but it still makes me giggle when arnie, who is play leonardo decapprio, does the cute little things he does. He plays a mentally challenged boy and like he acts like a little kid. Like he is so innocent and pure. I love little kids. I just love them to death. I think that is half the reason i love cj. He reminds me of a little kid. He needs me to carry him to bed. When i come home he instantly wants me to pick him up and hold him like a toddler on my hip. Mom and dad say that he had a hard time sleeping last night. Like he doesnt sleep well whenever i am not home. He also will only sleep when he is on the bed with me.

Anyway I think i would love to live in a small town. I would love to know everyone around me. Or in a rainy town. I dont know...lol

I think i am tired...

They should have a zombie mood....D=
6th-Apr-2008 09:10 am(no subject)
Animated Amanda
I have seen an older Charlie....I just got doe watching a scanner darkly and the character Jim Barris played by robert downey junior reminds me so much of charlie. He is really smart and yet is really creepily weird. And he kind of looks like an older charlie too...=/


4th-Apr-2008 06:34 pm - pay up people...
Animated Amanda
bedroom toys
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